I keep thinking that maybe one day I'll write an installment of this that won't be a lesson that God has taught me. Maybe I'll be able to write something about politics or things I want to tell my kids or maybe something I learned on my own. And this is another one of those times that He's up there laughing at me and saying, "Seriously Katie? Nothing you learn in this life that's not from me will really matter in the eternal perspective." So here I am with yet another lesson learned. Some I learned through my own actions, and some I learned through others. So here it goes.
I had to learn humility. Don't think for a second that I took it easily. I went down kicking and screaming and to be completely honest, I'm still not quite there yet. But I'm learning. About two weeks ago I was sitting at my house (with my mom. Go figure.) Sobbing and telling her "I can't do this, I can't do this." That's something that doesn't typically come out of my mouth. In fact, normally when people tell me I can't do something, that just pushes me even more to prove to myself that I can. (Ex. Going to a university a year early and getting all scholarships when people said I couldn't. Can I get an amen?) Also referring to the first blog I posted, my mom is still right. So she looked at me and said, "You're right. You can't. And you know whose help you need."
I've always heard people say "God won't give you more than you can handle." I'm here to tell you that that saying is 100% not true. He will absolutely give you more than you can handle. I just got way more than I can handle, and I'd go as far as to say I'm a pretty tough person. He allowed it... (Notice I said allow. He doesn't MAKE bad things happen to you. He just allows it.) He didn't allow it because He hates me or because he enjoys watching me squirm. But sometimes it takes a lot more than we can handle before we look up and say, "Hey I can't do this and I need your help." Often times, it's a mess that we've gotten into ourselves. But one of the things about having a gracious, loving savior, is that he still wants to help, even when we screw up. We have a thing above our sink in the kitchen that says, "God doesn't give you what you can handle. He helps you handle what you are given."
There will always be SOMEONE in your life that makes it difficult. A boss, an employee, a professor, a family member and sometimes even a friend. I've had my share of being talked down to, and it's one of those things that I don't take very well. Unfortunately that's one thing He's taught me. The human in me wants to stomp my foot and stand up for myself. But what He says in 1 Corinthians 4:12 is this. "When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. We have become the scum of the earth, the garbage of the world-right up to this moment." The whole chapter is about the Nature of True Apostleship (it's hard stuff.) Put simply, this verse says that people are going to talk down to you and talk bad about you. Whether or not you deserve it doesn't matter. Humble yourselves and love them anyway. Talk about a sucker punch to the stomach. I do not want to do that. And it's an every day thing that I have to tell myself to breathe and to love the unlovely. I mean I'm a sinner. I'm the most unlovely of them all and He still loves me. So I kinda have to love whether I want to or not. We love because he first loved us. It's okay to be upset, and it's okay to be hurt when someone intentionally hurts you and your feelings. But it's not okay to respond in the same way. Be humble and endure it. This isn't to say let people walk all over you and treat you badly. Don't confuse humility with being a human punching bag. But instead of having a verbal response, set an example in life in love in faith and in purity. Make them wonder why you're so different.
